Monday, October 26, 2009

The Booksmugglers on Halloween and Horror

To conclude this first Halloween Week Day I have something funny for you guys. Me and the girls from over The Book Smugglers have became a sort of unholy trinity. Members include Zombie Thea, Ninja Ana and Harrymonster, though I prefer to be the maniac with the chainsaw. In the spirit of goofing off every once in awhile I have asked the girls questions with no intellectual value whatsoever. The result:

Harry: Girls, I have this major sweet tooth and can virtually devour tons of sugar containing edible products, while watching a movie. Different movies deserve different sweets. Do you have a candy policy concerning horror movies? What's your saccharine poison during a horror flick?

Ana: I don’t watch many horror movies but as a rule my favourite movie treat are chocolate covered raisins. NOM NOM NOM.

Thea: I actually am missing a sweet tooth! I don't like sugary stuff much at all. BUT throw a bag of chips in front of me, and I will eat them all. I suppose my horror snack of choice has to be classic popcorn. With a large diet coke.

Harry: It's the end of the world, kay? *pause for the grave gravity of the situation* And everyone is in for the grabs. All of a sudden Satan catches Cthulhu making a pass on US land. A death match follows. Who will win?

Ana: What in the world is a Cthullu??? Yes, I am an ignoramus when it comes to horror okay? Don’t judge me. Is it not enough that the world is about to end?

Thea: Neither. Satan summons his demonic minions to hold down Cthulhu's tentacled squid face while he attempts to fry the unspeakable monster, but to no avail! His demonic brimstone fire is put out by the rising seas, and it appears that Cthulhu has the advantage. As the monster grabs Satan in its deathly vice, the devil's able to ram his pitchfork into Cthulhu, decapitating the monster. Both Satan and Cthulhu sink into the abyss, and the world is saved!

At least...temporarily.

Harry: Let's imagine that you are plagued/gravely wounded/dying/dead and since it's Halloween and weird shit happens all around, you get a second chance as supernaturally life impaired. What critter would you like to be? Zombie, vamp, ghoul, strict librarian... etc. etc. etc

Ana: My first thought was for Vamp but I don’t think I would dig the whole drinking blood/not seeing the sun thing. I don’t want to be a zombie either because they are gross and ghosts are too…untouchable for my tastes. Since it’s Halloween and anything can happen can I become a shape shifting creature that causes havoc all over the world by impersonating famous people? WHAT? Don’t judge me. Isn’t it enough that I just died?

Thea: Hmm, zombies would be an obvious choice, but they are too dim and easy to kill - err, re-kill. I think I'd go for a werewolf/shapeshifter of some sort. Like Ana, I like the sun too much to abstain completely and I like meat too much to subsist entirely on blood. So, man-eating werewolf it is! I get the perks of zombiism (BRAAAAINS), PLUS supernatural strength and the ability to reason, PLUS I can still suntan if I so desire.

Harry: Again let's pretend you are dangerous, sexy, aluring, smart [not much deviation from real life here, huh?] and also gifted in witchcraft. What spells would you be most addicted to casting and please avoid 'to order my books' and 'schedule my blog posts faster'? I want Belatrix Lestrange femme fatale!

Ana: hummm I love Belatrix! If I were a witch, I am 100% sure I would be addicted to teleporting. I would never take the stairs again or drive anywhere or take the tube or walk down the road to get milk. Oh, my life would be bliss! Plus with the time saved with commuting/going up and down the stairs I would be able to read more. What? You knew I would mention reading and “books” somehow didn’t you?

Thea: LOL! Well, ordering books and scheduling posts or writing reviews in the blink of an eye would be fabulous spells, but I think I want something more flashy for my magic. Hmm, I think a good ol' "Never Worry About Money/Time/Working EVER AGAIN" spell would come in handy. You know, so I could spend all my time reading, watching movies, blogging, etc.

On a more sassy note, I think I'd get a kick outta transmorgifying things. You know, turning people into newts and such. That could be addictive.

Harry: In which horror movie would you like to be a protagonist and what kind of protagonist would you like to be. Give me details and there is no limit to answers. You can be a chimp with a laser sword in Night of the Walking Dead for all I care.

Ana: I thought about this question for a long, long time. And I always came back to the same answer: hell, noes. I don’t want to be in a horror movie ever. OMG the horror! The fear! I don’t think I can master the strength or the courage to be in one, even if I manage to write myself as a kick-ass Ripley kind of protagonist. UNLESS Gerard Butler is in it, and I am the heroine he needs to rescue with his manly arms and kiss me till I swoon. I know, not very feminist but is Gerard Butler so yeah…don’t judge me?

Thea: Oh man, no question - I would want to star in my own zombie-film mashup. Cast me with the badassness factor of Alice from the Resident Evil films, in a Romero-cum-Zach Snyder/Danny Boyle zombie apocalypse film, where I get to stave off the undead with my handy rifle, machetes, and....what the heck, gimme a lightsaber too.

And to cap it all off, once the earth has been overrun by zombies, I and a few lucky survivors create a superluminal warp drive and get on a spaceship and boldly set out for a new planet to call home. With The Force to guide us (you know, to a galaxy far, far away)...


PeterWilliam said...

That's great!!! I'd like to watch a movie centered around apocalyptic events with a pair of morphing Book Smugglers. C'mon, somebody out there has got to be able to pull this off.

Harry Markov said...

@ PeterWilliam: That is one hell of a summary, huh? Hope Hollywood takes notice. :)

PeterWilliam said...

It's gotta be at least as good as the scads of crapola regularly churned out these days.

Harry Markov said...

I agree. The very least. :)

Thea said...

Awww, dudes, we're flattered. I think the morphing, jedi master, post-apocalyptic, book smuggling angle would make for an AWESOME film ;) Just sayin'. And dear Harrymonster could help write it.

Thanks for the props guys, and Harry, as always it was a blast being over here for an interview!

Harry Markov said...

I will so help write it and then I will design the costumes and help with the shooting scenes. It will be a cult classic I tell ya.

CebuImage said...

Do you accept partner exchange link?

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